Gotta Do Sumthin’

I woke up at the middle of the noon yesterday, sat down for a while in my bed, wandered around my tiny prison, and felt useless. It was hot, moist, and my whole back was sweating, still I left the option to turn on the fan. It was confusing thought, how could I keep my life like this? “Am I in the phase of a frustration state now?” that was my head keep spinning on. I mean no kidding, but frustration just not my thing, skeptical is..

Later that night, I topped up my internet bill, tried to catch up the world I had been leaving for nearly a week. Nothing interesting, except that Vucinic turned out to be a backstabber following his move to Turin. It got me thinking that I might not really need my internet connection after all, also the service is always killing me with disconnected notification every single five minutes.Then, I opened my twitter deck and get a lil’ stunned by my pal’s tweet,”Those who’s still up at this time and tweeting while the others is already slept, might be classified as an  unemployed people.” Yep, you’re right buddy.

My virtual insanity was just added by facebook newsfeed, “Don’t be a fool, stay in school”, said one of the status around. For a newly graduated and effectively unemployed lad like me, who love school so much, mainly for the high-speed internet , that status literally told me something, I just didn’t get it right, not at all. My best guess was either it meant that I should enter a grad school or it’s just a kinda denial that school is relatively easier than doing some corporate sell-out job. Well, just leave it there then.

I know that I was acting weird these days. I kept staring at the schedule board, counting on the days I would be free (read: no job indeed) and exactly did nothing about it. Considering how the time flows and figuring how the essential part of life always circles around, I prefer to indicate that this is merely another fake, yet influential, state of mind. Fake, for not letting body and soul reconnected as it has to be, resulting a manipulative intention that says “everything is gonna be just fine” or “it’ll be okay, just wait”, and pushing all the organ to passively accept that suggestion without a second thought. Influential, because once I can get rid of it, hemoglobin will raise into my brain, giving relaxation along the way to amygdala, the place where every assumptions will be given a taste to be perceived. The rest of it might be tricky or delusional, but that’s the game.

The question is, how can I get rid of that fake state and move into the influential one as soon as I can? Gotta do sumthin’, huh? Maybe fixing my resume then put it on Jobstreet would help..